The Phantom Menace (with apologies to Mr. Lucas)


I was up Monday morning at 4:30 AM and feel as if I am officially back to grad school levels of insomnia. Although I began the previous post only a few hours ago (although they will likely be posted at the same time), I’m now sitting in the Childbirth Suite at the hospital with Jenny hooked up to the same machines she was on Saturday and waiting the results of a blood test. You get the idea that things are still up in the air?

Jenny has apparently been having “Braxton Hicks” contractions, is leaking a fluid of unknown origin (still neither basic nor acidic), had started having pains unrelated to contractions of any sort, and the baby was moving less than she had been before. At the risk of feeling like total paranoid parents-to-be we called Dr. Dorn first thing and went to see him. The ultrasound showed more fluid than on Saturday, the fluids were still there, but were not testing “amniotic”. He said the pains worried him and he wanted to check some blood work, that’s how we ended up here.

So Jenny is bored of being here, especially if today is not the day, and I think we would both rather be in the sun (unfortunately it rained this afternoon!). She said to me earlier that “She thought this was going to be easy”, I did too. I guess that’s the problem with taking so much of this advice we’ve been given on face value. People have repeatedly said, “When it’s time, you’ll know.” Well, no one said that gallons of fluid would come pouring out of my wife, but it won’t really be “the water breaking”, so we’ll have to spend days trying to scientifically demonstrate that what we witnessed really did happen. (Is this how alien abductees feel?) Mostly we’re concerned that people either think we’re pregnancy hypochondriacs or we’re idiots. I wish we had taken a picture or brought in the shoes it ruined, which was our first impulse, but it seems even that would have meant nothing.

The mantras at this point are, “I guess she’s not ready yet” and “We’re not coming back here until she’s crowing.” If other people go through this too it sure never seems to make it into print.



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